A poem on a page.

Ani DiFranco fills my ears along with my cat and her snoring. Light fills my room, only today, a bit more blue fills the empty grey. Cars still pass with a lack of urgency; this is when I realize I have two days to finish possibly six hours of gruesome homework to before midterms after the weekend. I always thought i was one who lacked a life outside of myself, but this last month has proven otherwise. Chest pains have become a regular and I have yet to decide the reasoning. Choosing between my lack of love and my passionate friendships deems impossible during my times of scholarly stress. Conor Oberst now fills my ears, overpowering the snores of my kitty. I envy the passion in his voice; his perfect choice of simple guitar riffs mixed with obvious lyrics that condescend so much that nearly no one can notice. I almost feel offended.

I'm tired.
I am tired.

Today is a day, unlike any other.

So again, I wish i could write.
Practice, Time, Silence; The path to success.
Loss, Patience, Passion; Answers to the test.

the sun reflects through the clutter of condensation held up by strings afloat in the sky. A cool winter's grey hovers throughout the trees and cars pass with no urgency. Sleepy and relaxed, Puss shares the arm of my father's reclining chair with my elbows resting atop each one. Clicks of a keyboard resound through the house while faint barks can be heard from outside. Silence; The true essence would terrify me in an instant. The thought of no sound; no life.
The sun presses through the clutter of condensation held up by strings afloat in the sky. A smile attacks my face; teeth not yet showing. One more happy thought can change that. Today is thursday. Today is my day.

random rambling.

AHHHHHH.
its 60 DEGREES F in kc.
whoaaa...
i know. i know.


school.
work.
eat.
sleep.
repeat.
copeland?


2:57 and counting. pm.
14:57.


blargh.

Jealousy is my Rivalry

Ok, so... I have this little problem. The only REAL problem associated with it, is that this little problem i have had... it gets thrown into some HUGE issues. I get jealous. I think everyone gets jealous, but I mean I get JEALOUS. Sweaty palms, frantic breathing, nausea, anxiety... I mean the whole nine yards. I don't like that i have this problem, and for the last year and six months it really hasn't been an issue, until now. Its like everytime I catch her texting him, or talking to him on facebook, or anything i freak out. Not at her, most of the time, but on the inside. I bottle it up until i explode. When i explode, its not pretty. I wish i could control it like i was able to for this past year. I guess that's something that i'll have to work on, but man... I freakin' hate it.
well, good luck in the new year. I wouldn't bother making a resolution, because we all know it wont hold.

And the trees began to fall...

Have you ever wanted events to turnout differently, and then when they do, still not be happy with the results? Have you ever been so selfish that nothing will sooth your aching soul and no one will ever complete your other half? Have you ever been so... just... down in the dumps knowing that you're supposed to live alone for the rest of your life, but still you lead this perfectly amazing girl on to believe you know what you want out of life? All i have to say... don't let yourself fall to that point. Just... don't.

you know what i hate... pt.1

you know what i hate...


is when people cut you off before you're able to finish a sentence. I could be telling someone that i'm killing their mother--- and then they'll cut me off. But what they didn't realize is, i was killing their mother because she was about to set all of their shit on fire and that she made endeavors to end my life as well.
When I tell someone that i will give them a ride somewhere, i fully intend on doing so. I'm not the type of person to offer a ride and then leave them stranded somewhere. If i have other things to do before I give that ride, then i believe that is my business to finish, because the plans were made prior to the question of rides. I will execute my first plans and then go back and finish my other business (that being the ride) and then all will be good... but people that cut me off before my sentences are finished wouldn't know that. They wouldn't know that i'm an ok person who likes the little time spent with people who i don't know very well. I like to get to know someone slowly, learning little things at a time, therefore i like hanging around just about anyone... but people like that... i don't know. They tick me off a bit.

i'm done. =)

The Dynamic Duo

There's nothing more that i'd rather see
than you right here oh so close to me
i'd say i've found it, the magic key
come back home
come back home

Get on the first plane tonight
beat the bulls
to shed your plight
hide the car under the tarp
we'll live like criminals
we'll never be apart

I can't wait another day
I can't believe i let you get away
I guess i'm speechless, nothing to say
I miss you
yeah, I miss you

Get on the first plane tonight
beat the bulls
to shed your plight
hide the car under the tarp
we'll live like criminals
we'll never be apart

you've been gone too long
its time to come back home
I know its unfamiliar
I know you'd hate it
I know you'll hate it

You've been gone too long
don't leave me now
its time to come back home
don't stop listening
I know its unfamiliar
I'm singing this for you
I know you'd hate it
I know you hate it
I know you'll hate it
I know you hate it

Get on the first plane tonight
beat the bulls
to shed your plight
hide the car under the tarp
we'll live like criminals
we'll live like criminals
we'll live by breaking the rules
we'll never be apart